Alternatives to Nipple Reconstruction.

This will bring a smile to your face!

This did not happen to me, but I found it so funny that I wanted to share it with you all.  The following experience is from a stage 4 fellow cancer survivor, who has a blog that I just love to jump on and read. She is a true inspiration to anyone going through cancer. She never fails to bring a smile to my face, and after reading this story, I just had to share it with others who are considering nipple reconstruction.   Enjoy!

There are alternatives: instead of surgically building a nipple, some women have 3D tattoos that appear to be of a nipple and an areola, but which are smooth. That doesn't really work for us Unis though.

So, do I or don't I? Do I get a nipple recreation with an areola tattoo, or not? 

The deciding factor might be this: I am dying to ask my future grandchildren if they want to see granny's tattoo. 

Yes, I'm evil. 

Once it's done, it's permanent. So, I was very excited to come across a product that will help me decide. They are called rub-on nipples and they are designed specifically for mastectomy patients. 

Remember as a kid you'd get a tweety bird tattoo in your box of crackerjacks, wet it and rub it on your arm to shock your friends with your bad-ass new tat? But, you could never get the water right and it would sort of be tweety's beak and feet and if you were lucky, maybe a wing, and the rest would just peel and crumble off?

Well, this product is similar to that, only not similar at all. First, to my recall, they never put nipple/areola complex tattoos in cracker jacks.

Second, these work much, much better.

I got two assorted variety packs in colors I thought might be right for me, and went to town.

I can honestly say, this product works beautifully. They solved the problem of crumbling rub-ons - you wet it and it's on perfectly. And, it doesn't come off at all, which is magic. It really looks like a tattoo, or like your skin coloring - like it's permanent.

It's also annoying because my first attempt was so wrong. I didn't follow the instructions, which suggested you cut the tattoo into a circle for better placement. I took the square, imagined where I thought the nipple would be, and wet it with a washcloth. 

I now have a nipple very close to my cleavage. This would not be disturbing, except it looks exactly like a nipple and it's very strange when in the wrong place. You can remove it with rubbing alcohol, which I don't have, so I'm walking around with a cockeyed nipple.  When I look in the mirror, I'm getting cross-eyed stares rather than winks.

Not sure that's an improvement. 

My mother always told me to go out with clean underwear in case I got in an accident, and not only did I take her advice to heart, I never leave my house without imagining that I'll be hit by a bus. If I die with this nipple in the wrong place, I'll be so embarrassed. 

I'm going to hit the store today and get some alcohol and try again. Maybe I'll send my husband. "Honey, I need some rubbing alcohol to get my nipple off before I get hit by a bus."

Even though I haven't gotten it perfect (yet), I can only blame my ADD impatience in not following the directions. I highly recommend this product, for many reasons. It helps us Uni's decide if we want to have the surgery - a harder decision for us because we never will match perfectly. At least, with this, we can get an idea if adding a nipple/areola complex will highlight the mismatch or mask it. It will help you Doubles decide on color and placement for your permanent nips/tats. And, because it is such an easy and yet effective product, it might just put a tattoo artist out of business. With this product, you can change it up and have a pale pink cherry one day and a nice brown one the next. I know, if I was a double, I'd probably stay bare and just use these for fun.  Implants may not be permanent, but tattoos are, and being me, I always think to the future.  That perfectly placed nip/tat in 2011 might be way off in 2021.

The place to get them is: http://tattooednipples.com/ They are $20.00 for the variety pack.  I recommend starting with that because the colors look a bit different on your skin than in the package.  (A little darker from my one test; maybe that's because I tan.)  Each variety pack comes with two colors and you get 8 tattoos total. The website says they last two weeks, and while I haven't tried one for that long yet, I tend to believe them as everything else they said was right on the money.

I like them.

In fact, I'm thinking of putting one on my shoulder - just for fun.

DON’T DO DRUGS!

I believe in expecting the unexpected when it comes to gems of wisdom. Life’s lessons come in the most unexpected forms, so take what you can from both the good & the bad, and make the most of it.

One day I went to my daughter’s school to pick her up. A little boy was running through the halls, his mother not far behind him. He was probably around the age of four or five. When he spotted me, he stopped in his tracks.

“Are you a boy or a girl?” he asked.

I smiled down at him. “I’m a girl,” I answered.

“Then why don’t you have any hair?”

As the little boy queried me, his mother looked on in horror. She rushed forward with an apology on her lips, but I waved her off. Stooping down until I was eye-level with the inquisitive young man, I whispered. “I took some drugs, and they made all my hair fall out, so if you want to keep your hair, don’t do drugs!”

Jaw dropping, eyes wide, he whispered, “I won’t. I want to keep my hair.”  

As I rose to retrieve my daughter, the boy stared after me, and the look on his mother’s face was priceless. I’m not sure if she was in shock over her son’s questions or the words of wisdom I’d just provided. As far as I was concerned it was a life lesson I couldn't pass up. 

Was I being honest with her son? Yes I was. I’d taken drugs that made my hair fallout. What I hadn’t told the child was that the drug was chemotherapy. As far as the kid needed to know was that I’d taken drugs and they’d made me lose my hair. Did I shock him with my honesty? Probably, but I’m pretty sure that, that boy will always remember that if you take drugs, your hair will fallout. Maybe in the distant future someone will offer that young man an uncontrolled substance, and he will instantly say NO, all because some weird lady told him that drugs will make your hair fallout.

Questions Anyone?

I’ve had a couple of ladies contact me in the last few weeks, asking for advice on bi-lateral mastectomies, so I’m going to address some questions and concerns that I think everywoman has when it comes to this subject.

If I have the BRCA gene should I get a mastectomy?

This is a very personal choice. If you have the mutated gene that causes breast cancer and ovarian cancer known as BRCA 1 or 2, than you should know you are ticking time bomb. Cancer is not a matter of IF I get cancer, but WHEN. Women who are younger and younger are getting breast cancer. What I do suggest, is to educate yourself! You might also have a hard time finding a doctor who is willing to perform a mastectomy if you haven’t had signs of cancer. For instance, I have a good friend who has the BRCA 2 gene. She also has lumps in her breast that the doctors have been keeping an eye on for the last three years, and yet her doctor won’t perform a mastectomy. She wants a mastectomy, and is frustrated with the medical industry, which brings me to my second question.

Who do I talk to about getting a mastectomy?

You will need a general surgeon and a plastic surgeon, because they will work together to reconstruct the breast. You will also want to shop around for a good plastic surgeon. Don’t be afraid to ask friends who have undergone this procedure, they will be able to provide amazing feedback. For instance, I have gone to two separate plastic surgeons, and I LOVE my second surgeon. She is actually fixing problems that occurred from my first surgeon.

Is this procedure something that my insurance will cover?

Check with your provider. Chances are if you have a family member that has had cancer, or if you carry the BRCA gene, it is considered preventative, so they will cover this procedure. Even if they won’t cover it, if this type of procedure will bring you peace of mind, then DO IT!

My sister recently underwent a bi-lateral mastectomy, and I was lucky to have her come stay with me as she was recovering. I have to say that her breasts look amazing. You could never tell that she had a mastectomy, verses someone who had cancer and then underwent a mastectomy. This is because when you have cancer, the general surgeon needs to remove, tissue, muscle and skin. By the time it is all said and done, the girls don’t look like movie stars. If you are really considering doing this procedure and need to ask questions, contact me, I would be happy to talk to you.

Actions Speak Louder then WORDS!

I've talked about this before, but I’m going to throw it out here one more time.

When someone is going through a tough time, we tend to ask, “What can I do to help?”

Honestly, most people aren't going to tell you that they need. I mean who wants to tell someone that their laundry is backed up. That they don’t have the energy or time to play catch-up. A meal that still needs to be made, or just a minute to themselves.

When I was going through chemo, I didn't need to ask for help, because I was blessed with family and friends who just jumped in and helped.

If you really want to know what you can do, just take the garbage out. Pickup their kids for a play date. Drop off a flower, or mail them a card to bring a little bit of sunshine into their day. But the most important thing is NOT to ask . . . just do it!

Another lump

I found another lump in my breast the other day. It’s in the same breast that the cancer was in. I was told that if the cancer came back, it would come back either in my breast, bones, brain, liver or my lungs. Surprisingly I didn't panic, because I’m getting better at listening to my body, sill, once burned twice shy, so I went into the doctor and had ultrasound. It turned out to be a cyst, but I’m lucky enough to have a doctor that believes that a breast shouldn't have lumps!

Most doctors in this valley will tell you not to worry about a lump. If it is a cyst it might go away, or it might not, which is also true. Often a doctor will they drain them, but seldom will they remove a cyst.

My theory . . . If it shouldn't be there, get rid of it!

I have a friend that has been fighting with her doctor for the last five years over a lump in her breast. She wants it removed, the doctor has told her it would be a senseless surgery.

My question? Why stay with a doctor who isn't willing to listen to your concerns? Bottom line . . . it’s your body! Remember, that all you are is a chart at the end of that doctor’s day, so find a doctor who is willing to listen to your fears and work with you in order to find a solution that will alieve your fears! 

Luckily, I have found that type of doctor! I will be going in for a simple procedure in March to remove the lump. On the down side, I will have to make use of the operating room which is never a fun thing to do, but in the end it will be well worth the peace of mind it will bring me. 

Never Judge a Hairless Head or a Head Full of Hair!

One day a little girl come up to me in Wal-Mart while I was shopping. She didn't ask why I was bald, she just smiled at me, told me that I was pretty and that she loved my hat. She didn't question why I didn't have any hair, she just accepted me at face value. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all be like that?

Oh how sweet, you might be thinking? End of discussion . . . Wrong. We all know that we shouldn't judge a book by its cover, and yet we still do it. I bring this up because a fellow co-worker of mine has been growing his hair out for over a year. It’s not the best look on him, but he doesn't care. He keeps his hair clean and pulled back from his face, and he always looks neat. The other day I overheard someone say that they couldn't understand why he didn't cut his hair. These ladies continued to say that they thought he would look less grungy and sloppy if he’d just cut his hair.

When I overheard this conversation, I was furious. These women don’t know this young man is an absolutely hard worker with a heart of gold, all they see is a grungy kid with bad hair. What they don’t know is that for the last year, he’s been growing his hair out so that he can donate it to Locks of Love.  

I bring this up because when I was going through chemo I heard a lot of horror stories from my group of fellow cancer survivors about people approaching them in order to call them out. These people weren't coming up to make kind remarks like the little girl in Wal-Mart did to me. What they did was incomprehensible, because they were telling a woman with breast cancer that she needed to repent for her sins. This woman was then told that God was punishing her with cancer because she must be a wicked person.

WTH?

I don’t know about you, but the God, I know is a loving God. I also know that if you have cancer it is not because you need to repent for your sins or that you are a bad person! Having long hair does not make you a bad person, but speaking ill of others and judging someone is a sin, and it makes you a bad person for doing it in the first place!

Please, please, don’t judge someone for the way they look, you don’t know what they’re really going through, instead be kind, and if you can’t say something nice, don’ say anything at all!

Vinnie's

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Egq2qnnXSPY


I had a couple of people contact me about how they can learn more about getting Vinnie's, so I am attaching a video link from you-tube, so you can see just how amazing this man's work is. Yes, you can get a nipple tattoo in your plastic surgeons office, or you can even order rub on tattoo's from on line, but let's face it, once you see this man's work, who wouldn't want to go to New York and get your own Vinnies?

Here is a the link to watch if you are interested in getting a Vinnie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72sfSOh8Hdc
Anyone? Anyone?

I've already had three people ask if they could go with me and get their Vinnie's if I decide to get mine. Secretly, I think they just want to go to New York.

NIP-NIPS

Years ago while I was attending a church meeting, I couldn’t help notice the lovely woman sitting in front of me. She was dressed immaculately, her hair pulled up into an elegant coiffure. Her perfume held a sweet aroma that tickled my nose. In her arms she held a new born babe, while another child around the age of two sat next to her. This lovely lady looked like the perfect personification of a young mother.  It was about that time in the meeting that the speakers mowere in transition, so the meeting room was somewhat quiet when the little girl in front of me turned to her mother, and in a childish voice, asked for a “nip, nip?”

A nip-nip? Red candied nips?

Oh how sweet. She calls her candy nip-nips, (or so I thought?)

Boy was I wrong!

To my shock, the mother pulled down her dress, let her little girl climb on her lap and latch on to a dusty rose nipple.

WTH?

Well, at least I now knew what a nip-nip was, and yes, it brought a new meaning to the word eye-candy. So now when I think about nipples, I can’t help but call them nip, nips. Which brings me to the epic question . . . just how important are those nip, nips?

Well, I guess it depends on the individual. I can honestly say that when I had nip-nips, they brought me pleasure and pain. They nourished my children, alerted me to changes in temperature, and damn near poked an eye out a time or two when temperatures reached sub-zero realms.

So now that I’ve reached the all-time point in reconstruction, I have to consider the question . . . do I or do I not get nip-nips?

Yes, there are down and upsides to reconstructive nipples, for one thing, nipples make you look and feel normal. On the down side, they poke out, (but then they kinda have to, ‘cause it’s just the way their made.) There’s also the option of tattooing, but then if I want a tattoo, why get a nipple tattoo when I could always get something exotic instead of an areola? 

Bottom line - it all comes down to what makes an individual look and feel complete, normal and whole again.

As I was contemplating my options, nip-nips verses not nip-nips, I learned about "Vinnies". What are Vinnies? Well for those going for a real look to help them feel and look normal, there is an amazing tattoo artist in New York, named Vinnie. He started doing 3-D nipple tattooing years ago. Women have flown all over the world to have Vinnie recreates images of their nipples.  Recently, Vinnie decided he wanted to get back into the artistic side of his tattooing, and so he opted to stop doing nipple tattoos. (Coincidentally, on the day he decided to quit tattooing nipples, he got a call that changed his life.) Vinnie's sister called to say that she’d just been diagnosed with breast cancer. It was in that moment, that Vinnie decided tattooing nipples for his clientele was serving a greater purpose.

Now, on that note, I it's safe to say that I still haven’t decided one way or another on nipples. For now I think I’m just going to stick with the Barbie doll look, but one thing’s for sure, I won’t be whipping out any nip-nips anytime soon!